


The book of Bane

by kalime80



Series: My Malec poetry [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 21:33:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20052868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalime80/pseuds/kalime80
Summary: Magnus muses about his life and his feelings





	The book of Bane

I’m ageless and immortal. Despite that  
I have been killed at least one time before  
for love’s the greatest weapon, and my heart  
was on my sleeve, was on my naked wrist  
to be easily taken, to be easily broken  
by those that I let near me, every time  
I allowed someone close. How fool of me  
that I always loved more than I was loved.

It doesn’t make me weak. I choose to be  
the one you can’t ignore. Courting excess  
I walk through life as a rock star on stage  
fabulous and flamboyant. I’m not weak:  
I step over the lines. My armor’s made  
of glitter and nail polish, silk and beads:  
mother-of-pearls layered around my soul  
to make me shimmer, hide the hurt inside.

As centuries went by, the shell grew thick  
shielding my heart, until you came along  
with purpose, with your arrows, with a smile  
so innocent and true, it lightened up  
the depths where armored fish hid from the sun.  
I almost heard the oyster’s valves crack  
splitting me open, the new fashion trend  
that I should wear my heart upon my face.

Maybe you felt the same. The softest thing  
is you smile in the moment we share names  
yet as the battle’s over, in the shadows  
you try to disappears. What made you think  
you don’t deserve attention, that your worth  
is measured by the demons that you slay?  
Pretty boy, you’re more stunning than you know  
don’t be surprised I’m interested in you.

While I am used to swing between extremes  
too son the swell and ebb of my own joy  
is ruled by your moon presence. I will spill  
my every truth that you may need to hear  
if only you would sty and give me a chance.  
Allow me one last vanity, to keep  
this secret: are the corners of my eyes  
gleaming wet with eyeliner or with tears?

Then I learn that you’re tough, and strong, and brave  
that you follow the rules and put your needs  
at the end of the list. he greatest war  
is fought within yourself. You’d sacrifice  
every prospect of happiness, to hold  
to family expectations. It pains me  
to think of the desires you won’t voice  
nor acknowledge, that I could satisfy.

As the High Warlock of Brooklyn, I wield power  
beyond imagination. That means not  
that I don’t need your strength. When you decide  
on a mockery of life and cut my hopes  
I can’t stop you, nor let you walk away.  
A different brand of bravery I will need  
to slam open that door, my face, my pride  
and let you choose to maybe slay me again.

You kiss me instead, and that’s well worth the pain  
of hundreds years knowing I’m demon spawn.  
You don’t see me as a monster, you even find  
some beauty in my slit yellow cat eyes  
and suddenly there’s hope for a good life  
to spend together, meaningful and gay.  
Don’t waste your worry over such trivial thongs  
as time and all the wounds it can inflict us.

What if I have a longer past than you?  
Of centuries of worldliness and lovers  
memory fades, there’s no need to compare:  
Shadowhunter, you’re my first so many things!  
Maybe your days are numbered; all the same  
we don’t know who will be the first to fall;  
however many days the future holds  
I won’t regret to share them all with you.

In all my decades, I have learned to lose  
and I know what I’m willing to give up:  
my role, my reputation, my own name,  
the bed we shared, the place I call my home,  
even my magic. Not you, never you  
and neither the collapsing of the world  
nor deceit from my demon of a father  
will ever triumph keeping us apart.

I still believe that true love never dies:  
with sheets of gold and dressed in warlock blue  
by runes and words of power we’ll be bound  
and we’ll forever, joined in radiance, glow.


End file.
